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This headache is killing me.
ASPIRIN
Y U NO HELP
You get a new computer

And everything looks almost the same but JUST different enough that the colours you used to use don't look as good anymore.

And you want to tweak your characters designs because of it even though they don't need it.
So, for those of you that don't know, I'm in Mexico.
I just found out today that I was selected fro Jury Duty (to go in to find out if they want me as a Jurer) In Canada

Yeah.... that's not exactly within walking distance.
I tend to write little (or should i say big) stories

the thing is, I never really have the confidence to post them and they are often too large to read in one sitting. I very rarely abandon a story (at least entirely) a lot are still active that just need me to gain inspiration for them again. Most of the time, I just seem to rewrite them form the ground up. (Re. Ice Age)

I just... part of me doesn't want them to just sit in my files and want to upload them here.
the other part of me is too much of a coward to. I've haven't put up a story in a long time and I have taken down the only ones I ever had. I guess I feel like it is a little bit out of place?

Iunno... thoughts?

Edit: Sorry about the double post, DA gave me an error and I thought it meant it didn't go through. x.x)
I tend to write little (or shoudl i say big) stories

the thing is, I never really have the confidence to post them and they are often too large to read in one sitting. I very rarely abandon a story (at least entirely) a lot are still active that just need me to gain inspiration for them again. Most of the time, I just seem to rewrite them form the ground up. (Re. Ice Age)

I just... part of me doesn't want them to just sit in my files and want to upload them here.
the other part of me is too much of a coward to. I've haven't put up a story in a long time and I have taken down the only ones I ever had. I guess I feel like it is a little bit out of place?

Iunno... thoughts?
.__.;

So... I've come to realise

Journal Entry: Thu May 30, 2013, 7:01 PM


That I think I am suffering from a mild form of depression. :/

You'll never guess what I'm working on.

Journal Entry: Mon May 13, 2013, 6:06 AM


I'll give you a hint.

It's been a very long time.

Good Bye, Premium

Journal Entry: Thu Jan 31, 2013, 1:30 AM


I hardly knew the.











(I know I still have about 1-2 weeks left. But yes.)

Mrrrrrg.

Journal Entry: Tue Jan 29, 2013, 9:15 PM


This isn't really a rant for myself, since I am mostly unaffected by this. (I mean, I feel bad, but...)

Two of my cousins (That I've never seen, let alone met) have been missing for many years. (I believe both have been missing for longer than I have been alive, and I am turning 20 next month.)

They are children from two different aunts; one aunt I have met, and one that I have not.

No one has seen or heard hide nor tail of them, they just vanished without a trace and Canada is a very big place. Due to the fact that no one knows what happened to them; my aunts had naturally this lingering hope that MAYBE they are alive out there, somewhere. And slowly that hope eats away at your very being.


Well, about a week ago, one of my missing cousins' body was found in the woods (son of the aunt I never met) they believe it was suicide. But something just seems so ... odd to me about this. I don't know all the details, sadly. My mom believes they may had found traces of drugs, but something about that feels off to me. I'm not sure why... :/

Either way, my aunt is broken yet thankful that she finally has an air of peace about the matter. Just KNOWING is likely a blessing for her.
But I can't help but feel bad for my other aunt, who still has no idea about her son. And just finding out that her sister who also had a missing son had turned up ... I think any lingering hope had likely broken to pieces and is starting to eat at her now more than ever.

But what really bugs me?
My dad. He knows about the fact that the body of one of his missing nephews had finally turned up after all this time. According to her FB page, my aunt has emailed him with no response.
In short, he isn't talking with her.
Why? Apparently they had an argument eons ago.

Way to hold a grudge, Dad.






In other news completely inappropriate to this journal: I just organised the crap out of DA, removed a few thigns I didn't want to associate with, anymore, and all that fun stuffthat likely took about 3 hours.

How do I Tumblr?

Journal Entry: Fri Nov 30, 2012, 3:46 PM


Ugh, I feel like I need to have a certain level of intelligence to even do the most mundane things on that site. Intelligence which I very obviously lack. :/



Why is it so hard to reblog a post? Let alone MESSAGE someone? Gawd.


(I tried to message someone on tumblr to show them something, Tumblr BLOCKED ME WITH STUPID EXCUSES EVERY WAY IT COULD.  Saying things like "U hav not ben a fan of dis prsun lng enuf, lol." And I was all "HEY. I HAVE BEEN A FAN OF THIS PERSON SINCE BEFORE YOU WERE COOL. IT WAS JUST NOT ON YOUR JERKY SITE." So it replied. "Lol, sucks 2 b u, hipstur." So I was like "WELL. I HATE YOU TOO." )


/Raeg

Premium!

Journal Entry: Wed Nov 14, 2012, 5:44 PM


Hey! Look at me!

Erika is the best and gave me premium, obviously first order of buisness was to get a shiny new journal! Thanks again, Eri!
I'll put in shiny pictures at some point...maybe.











Peace. :la:










Journal Skin made by: :iconanokazue:

This website.
THIS WEBSITE.

It has so many tutorials. And I really want to learn things!

But its been down for at least three days, now, and I see nothign that implies its return.

WHYYYYY.

LEARNING

I WANT TO DO IT.

FUUUU.

WORKING BY MEMORY ON SOMETHING YOU RE UNFAMILIAR MAKES BAD THINGS HAPPEN.

SERIOUSLY.

LET ME LEARN THINGS.
I'm so, so, SO sorry about the delay, things have been kind of crazy, lately. I've also had a lot of trouble choosing a winner.
There is no excuse for being so late with this.


Winner is :iconchaoticinsanity13: with their entry, congrats! I'll see what I can do with your dragon.
I liked the style, and the way it was coloured and drawn.

You have a choice between: 420 points or a picture by me. (Coloured and shaded, no background)

Yep.
Deadline has passed and I am going to go through each one of these and judge the winner. If you have an entry but could not get it in, feel free to send it in anyway, it won't be judged, though.

Entries
Starlight511: starlight511.deviantart.com/ar…
9zyPhEr6: 9zypher6.deviantart.com/art/Co…
Cnat: 25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m4s…
Chaoticinsanity13: chaoticinsanity13.deviantart.c…

I should announce the winner here in a couple days - week at the most.
Some of you have probably noticed that I have been slacking on updates, especially in regards to Iceage.
The truth is sadly - I feel like I am losing my creativity, ideas, and "orginality."

I have been slowly losing ideas for characters and designs for years, now, I guess it is a part of growing older. But now it feels like I suddenly fell into a rut and I am not getting out.

My characters - I don't even have anything creative to colour them as, so to speak. But frick - even something done a million times is more original than taking real colourations of animals and colouring all your creatures as such.
For years, roleplay was my way of inventing stories, pasts for my characters and developing them but... as the years gone by - I have lost all of my roleplay buddies. I am down to one and I am speaking with her less and less thanks to real life and the fact she lives on the other side of this rock - thus - drastically different timezones.

Since roleplaying less, I have felt less and less creative - I am not even inventing new characters anymore - nor are the old ones really going anywhere.

When the roleplay was dying out, I took up writing stories, but now even that... I am slowly losing my grip.
I don't even dream about my characters or stories anymore, which was my main source of getting ideas.
And if I dream - either it is about whatever show I watched that day or something so intirely bizarre that I can't work with it and just go "wtf am I on?"

And damn it, I'm scared, I'm scaredthat I'll lose my remaining spark of creativity and stop drawing entirely. Lack of ideas - lack of creativity - lack of motivation - no drawing.


I have been searching on and off for another buddy to roleplay with, but it always ends up the same way - either we never roleplay - they lose contact with me or I have to intiate the conversation every time. And ... well... if I have to be the one poking you every time you get on MSN to even TALK with me, I feel like the interest in RP is rather one-sided.

I feel like it is egtting so bad that I am lacking the motivation to even reply to some of my comments (or have a conversation with someone)

and just...ftt.



Long story short; any one want to RP with me?
Looking for pretty much anything at this point. *gnaws on the table*
And don't shit yourself by saying it's not. And I have proof!.......sortof.

It just freaking HAILED on us.

That has /never/ happened here in recorded history (since the 1600s - this place was one of the last discovered places in Mexico) of this area.

Just thought you should know.
Every day now for the past few months I have been looking at the DDs and there is always one (or heck, even half of them) that I feel are just 'what is this, I don't even'

Either with things that I don't think are personally all that good. (Or have seen indentical pictures that far exceed it with not even half the views and NO DDs) things that /I/ could probably do.

I especially love it when they say nothing but "featured by __ and selected by ___" as if they had nothing good to say about it either. "HERE THIS IS MY FRIEND, GIVE HER DD PLZ."

It feels like it used to be that DDs were amazingly vibrant, semi (or completely) realistic drawings with fantastic backgrounds, spectacular attention to detail, great sense of anatomy, composition and etc. and now its just...
things that look like they were done 15 seconds in photoshop but is unique to look at and the person has a lot of watchers can get them.

I think this is another reason why I am losing so much interest in this site.
if I new of another (and albiet better one with "DDs" that honestly deserve it) then I would probably move over in a heart beat.

I just wish art wasn't such a damn popularity contest. I wish there was a way for "lesser known" people to stand out form the crowd WITHOUT having to pay a lot of money or be super OMG social.

DA is also jsut so .... big. Newest deviatation (be they good or bad) that are NOT "most popular" get burried by others in mere nanoseconds. You only have a brief window where someone just HAPPENS to be browsing to get a chance for someone new to see it (and in that case, it would be very, very few pwoplw jsut by how fast it moves.)

I kinda wish there was a little "random Deviatation that the system selected from every dev submitted ever (or submitted in the past 24hrs)" that would refresh every five minutes or so (Or random for everyone and refreshes every time the page does) Hard to miss, and would at least give a little more ... viewage?

Ugh, I'm in a bad mood right now.
  • Mood: Tired
I found out that a name of mine wasn't taken on DA.

So being the loser I am, I made it

:iconkalnu:

What...do I do with it? D8

Should I move? =x= Uploading all my comic pages would be a pain in the butt.


DA Y U NO HAS BULK UPLOADER???


Or hell, just a way to change your name.
  • Mood: Tired
I just wanted to get rid of the old journal


On a random note, you may have noticed that Iceage is now in folders.
  • Mood: Tired